Water Cooler

The younger of my two cats, Vlad, is positively entranced by the water cooler that my family has at home. As intrigued as he is by it, I am equally amused by his puzzlement.

From what I've observed, he has passed the water cooler on many an occasion, without much care. The truth is, he is pretending not to care. 

When I get a cup and walk towards the water cooler, Vlad knows what's going on - at the very least, he knows that the mysterious bubbly thing will soon be activated and the guy who feeds him (me) is about to consume from its innards (drink water). 

So when I say Vlad pretends not to care when he passes the water cooler, I mean, he's trying to show the water cooler he is above it, but if it is going to be used, that's another story.

When I get to the water cooler, Vlad will come running - it doesn't matter if he's in a totally different room. He comes sliding in front of me, due to his high velocity, and then skids to a stop and lunges at the water cooler.

Sometimes Vlad just wants to see what's going on, but sometimes he wants to be involved. When he wants to be involved, he bolts into the room, leaps at my cup as I fill it and sends it splashing everywhere for me to clean up.

When Vlad just wants to entertain his bewilderment, he will jump on a high chair near the water cooler, then onto the stackable chairs that are next to the water cooler. Sometimes this jump is poorly calculated and he'll fall to the ground surprised and instantly try to regain access to the spot. 

Once Vlad is up on the seats, he just stares at the water cooler as it bubbles and then he'll glance down at my cup as it gets filled, and then back to the bubbles. He just can't help himself.

I wonder what he thinks is going on. He consistently goes to watch it every time I try to use it, even if it means clawing onto me - sticking those little talons into my chest - just to jump closer.

Perhaps I have him incorrectly pegged as a fool, and while he is fixated on the water machine, and I am fixated on him, he has some accomplice get into the food supply and get some snacks. Who knows?

Right now, he's curled up next to me, purring softly, conspiring or day dreaming about the water cooler.

Fire Cat

I've noticed, almost all popular blogs or web comics eventually comes around to the topic of cats. Perhaps I'm jumping the gun and making a comic about cats too soon, but just in case, I'd like to ensure my route to success and so here is my cat-based post.

For Christmas, Santa brought a cat to my house. The cat, Vlad, was a gift to my brother, who named him. I've also learned from experience and from noticing the trend on a few other blogs that animals that come in pairs tend to have one less-than-smart animal in the set.

We originally had a cat named Tonks and Tonks was a nice cat that we rescued from our backyard. Not that our backyard is a particularly dangerous area, where the tabby cat gangs come to hang out and hassle other innocent suburban cats and whatnot, but nonetheless, we took Tonks in from our backyard.

We've had Tonks for over a year at this point and when Vlad came into the picture, it became apparent that the trend I have noticed would hold true. Tonks was an average-intelligence cat so that leaves Vlad.

Being that we got Vlad in the winter, we had a fire going in the fireplace, to help heat the house without relying too heavily on the heater. As the day went on it became apparent that Vlad had some identity issues. Like a fly attracted to the light, Vlad became consumed by the lustrous burning logs - specifically the fire created by the burning logs.

Don't jump to conclusions just yet - Vlad didn't jump into the fire and burn in the first day we had him, but that's not for lack of trying. Fortunately for Vlad's sake, the fireplace is surrounded by a metal netting that was apparently heavy enough to keep him from meeting a warm demise.

That brings to mind a joke my girlfriend told me: light a fire for a man, he'll be warm for a night; light a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

Fortunately Vlad didn't have to endure the punchline part of that joke and was saved by that netting, but some sparks did fly in his direction. He'd snap back from the smut but he'd always return.

This pyromaniac of a cat also enjoys candle-lit dinners, watching the sunset and I don't know about long walks on the beach. Candle-lit dinners amuse him because a pass-time of his is walking on, near or over fire and so whenever we lose attention of him for a moment, he'll find his way to a candle and proceed to walk right over it. Sunsets he'd probably also enjoy simply for the sake of watching a ball of fire move across the sky. He'd watch it like a lost lover that he hopes to rejoin with some day.

Expect future cat posts to satisfy a superstition about popularity in blogging.