Sticky Fingers

This post is mostly for parents, but still it applies to just about anyone. When someone spills soda, or in some way gets their hands sticky, you need to know how to appropriately handle the situation.

Sticky fingers and hands do not call for a napkin. Don't ever hand a person with sticky fingers a napkin, paper towel, toilet paper, rag, towel, any cloth that isn't wet.

You know what sticky fingers and a napkin combine to make? Sticky fingers with napkin bits attached all over. Same thing happens when something sticky is on the ground. Don't clean it up with a napkin or papertowel because gets what's gonna happen... I'm waiting. You guessed it (or maybe you didn't): you'll have sticky stuff with bits of napkin all stuck to your floor.

But there is a solution. Dampening or wetting the cloth or getting Lysol wipes or something, will actually help you clean up the mess or unsticky-ify your hands. That's right, wetting cloth is so effective, you can make up words like "unsticky-ify" to describe it.

So, whenever there's something that needs cleaning up, you're best getting a wet cloth*.

*Note: This doesn't apply to getting sticky stuff on things like outlets - bring a little common sense into the equation here. Cleaning outlets with wet cloths are just going to send electric currents into your body that you'll have to discharge by use of the force. Take Darth Vader's mentor for instance. He probably cleaned an electrical outlet with a wet cloth and now he keeps shooting lightning out of his hands.

from Google Images

You may think it's cool to shoot lightning out of your hands, but you have to also consider that lightning is bouncing around inside you before it can be discharged, so that's gotta be uncomfortable. Not to mention, what if you discharge the lightning at the wrong time. Say, for instance, you gotta change bulbs because the light burned out and then you accidentally zap the thing with your electric discharge. Now you got two useless bulbs because you shorted the thing.

Not to mention, check out how ugly Palpatine is (Darth Vader's mentor). I mean that dude probably got that way from a) all the built up electric charge in him and b) all the built up anguish from breaking all his lightbulbs.

So, in short: don't use a dry napkin to clean a sticky hand and don't use wet cloth near an outlet lest you'll look like "Mr. Right?"