Marshmallows

Today, by candlelight, my girlfriend and I roasted marshmallows. This was no easy feat. The original plan was to have an open fire (on logs) and (not roast chestnuts, but,) roast marshmallows - just as a small romantic and tasty gesture. We were going to do this the day we got back from Passover break but it had rained.

There's a fire pit in the backyard of my apartment and so it would've been nice to utilize it for this little foray but alas nature intended to delay our plans. Then we were going to take a try inside using a candle I have but it was scented and my girlfriend was concerned we would a) get all the chemicals into the marshmallows (not good) and b) it would taste bad from the chemicals.

Our plans were therefore further delayed. And finally yesterday, I went to the supermarket and got some supplies: a lighter, unscented candles and a small shot-glass-sized container to hold the candles in.

The candles were those tall 10" candles meant for romantic dinners, but they didn't have any other kinds (like the convenient cylindrical ones) that came in unscented. Tall candles meant I had to get the container.

The container was the most difficult part of the whole equation. On top of getting the aforementioned items, I was also getting cereal, pre-made cookie dough stuff and a couple other things but because I hadn't planned on what I was getting, I was just holding everything in my hands.

I was essentially The Cat In The Hat but without the grace and poise he's capable of. I went to the front of the store, to return a huge freshly baked loaf of bread I picked up solely because it was on sale for cheap. I was right next to the baskets, but of course didn't think to get one. That was a mistake.

As I get about five paces from the baskets, the candle holder, made of glass, drops, not for the first time, mind you, but from the greatest height so far, and it crashes to the ground and simply shatters all over the place.

I stand there, looking dumb and helpless, searching for someone a little more prepared than me. Finally an employee gets a co-worker to come help me out.

His opening remark to me: "You know we have baskets right over there."

"Yeah... I..." I began and trailed off.

I made my way, wearily, to the baskets and put everything I was carrying inside. Certainly did make it easier. I nodded to the employee in thanks and went for round two with that candle holder.

I went and got the same kind, put it in my basket, lest I am forced to contend with another gravity mishap. I made my way to the self-checkout and scan everything. At this point I realize that the candle holder I have, the second one, has no bar-code on the bottom - I decide to ignore it and just pay with my card.

I hit credit and then it asks for my PIN. I don't use the card a lot so I forgot my PIN and just put in common numbers I use and hope for it to work out. First time it doesn't work. Second time I try new numbers and it doesn't work again. Now I've got the attention of the attendant and I ask her to just cancel my order because after several cursory glances at the line I didn't want to waste any more of their time.

I tell her I can't get my card to work so she prints out the receipt for everything and brings me to her little stand. She scans it in and says maybe now I can get my card to work. I know it wasn't really a problem with my card it was a problem with my memory but I tried anyway.

She figured out that I wanted to pay credit and pointed out that when I got to the PIN screen I should just hit cancel. Finally it worked out - so if some day that checkout lady reads my blog: THANK YOU!

Now that I got everything worked out, I try for round three with that candle holder and finally this time I know not to precariously balance it on 10 other things, and to make sure it's got a bar-code.

I go to pay for it and I know to skip passed the PIN screen but then it asks if $2.15 is the right cost and I figure, eh, I'll bump it up $20 and get cash back, so I say "No" and enter $22.15. Now the machine sees an opportunity to prolong my experience more and tells me it can't give me cash-back so I just go through the whole process again, say "Yes" to the $2.15 charge and just get out of the store.

Then last night my girlfriend wasn't in the mood for the marshmallows so I had to wait some more for this little romantic excursion to come to fruition.

This morning I wake up and it's raining and apparently been raining for a little while. I'm not exactly pleased with nature at this point.

But things work out because the rain lets up and drys up a bit. By 9 in the afternoon (not a reference to the song) we get the stuff ready and go have our marshmallows. Earlier we picked up some wooden chopsticks to put the marshmallows on. First we soak them in water, then we went out.

There was a slight breeze (maybe a quarter mile an hour) which the flames exaggerated.

It took some difficulty but we managed.

At one point I had a roasted marshmallow on the end of my wooden chopstick, which had been scorched some, when suddenly the chopstick broke. The marshmallow, et al, fell to the table and I quickly retrieved it.

Somehow in the couple seconds that had passed I had forgotten that I had dropped the marshmallow on the table and offered it to my girlfriend.

She was disgusted at the prospect because it had just hit the table where there was old rain water and who knows what else - and she pointed that out to me.

Of course I had forgotten that it had dropped, I don't know how I had forgotten in those moments, so I just popped it in my mouth.

Just before I chomped down I remembered. I deplore germs when it comes to food so I instantaneously spew it from my mouth while my girlfriend laughs at the face I made in my realization - probably a cross between shock and horror and disgust.

I went to the bathroom, washed my hands and my mouth, then went to the water fountain and washed my mouth out again before returning to the table for some more marshmallows.

I dropped one more marshmallow, that I had been working on for about 5 minutes and was just perfect, but fortunately I thought before I went for it and just threw that one out.

In the end the evening was a success other than that one lapse in memory. The marshmallows were delicious.